I've got an idear!

So I assume that Pinkie, if anyone, will have something to say about this... And not only is that fine, but that is great! I hope more of you choose to follow Pinkie's example and get in touch, even if it is to make fun of us.

Anyway after reading "How Not to be a Dick" I have been thinking about writing "Shenanigans: Badger's Guid to being an AlxoAlcoh" (Name is a work in progress)... Anyway, many years ago I set about developing an alcohol tolerance that got out of control... (Any of you that know me in person know what I mean) but I have helpful advice on being a functional drunk and how to become more tolerant of alcohol... I can't speak for other substances, but I assume that my tips are still applicable.


My question being if I were to make this happen, how many of you would be interested in the "wisdom" I have to share?

"In hell I'll be in good company" The Dead South

Stay awake forever!
Your very tired King Badger

Welp I'm back...

I don't know how long I will be back, I always want to keep active on here to "help" those that seek me out or want to hear what I have to sys, but we know how great I am at that... Anyway my life has been changing a lot and while I want to share that with you I think it would be tedious and that none of you would like to read it...

Anyway I just finished the book "How not to be a Dick: An everyday Etiquette Guide"... And it was great!

Honestly I picked it up because it seems like a great book for me to read... But it turns out I'm not actually a Dick... I will say I'm an asshole, and that I have not decided to be less hard on myself after reading this... But this is legitimately a great read for modern day etiquette. I didn't actually learn a whole lot from it, as I have been working in there service industry most of the lessons learned here can be picked up from years working there, but seriously read it... This book is amazing a lot of points in it made me wonder if I have been sleep- writing under an assumed name.

Please don't overlook it because of the obvious marketing strategy that is the title.

"And since we know that dreams are dead, and life turns plans upon their head, then I will plan to be a bum that I just might become someone." - 21 Pilots

The badger loves you! Be you, and be proud!
The King Badger

Movies

So I am not a professional film critic, but I would like to believe if I were I would have to use a scale of 5 Badger Claws down to 5 Dicks in the Dirt... But the most recent movie I watched, which is what caused me to think of this, I would give a solid 5 DitD,,,

I did not care for the new Ghostbusters movie, I found it to be shooting for the easiest laugh, the self reference was pandering, and the tropes made my brain hurt.To those who liked itI don't judge you, but I wonder as to what caused you to feel this way...

"Don't turn around, we wanna show, time has run out, don't let us down" I Fight Dragons

The most credible badger
The Badger King

First Ever Published Honey Badger Advice

So even though any of the Honey Badgers have advised against this I feel I might as well try my hands at it... Welcome to the first ever advice column from the First Montana Orthodox Church of the Honey Badger...

Pinkie writes :"I have two cats, Stanley and Donny. Donny is a "people person", so to speak. Stanley is not. My boyfriend and his kids recently moved in with us and Stanley is stressed out, hissing and stuff. He seems to have lost a little weight. So this is a two part advice thing. One, how can I make Stanley feel better? Two, my boyfriend's daughter wants a third cat. Should I let her? Also I agree, I should not be taking advice from the Honey Badgers, but here I am."

So this advice is not professional in any sense of the word but here it goes. First off I would say hold off on getting a new cat until the originals are more comfortable with the situation, cats are notoriously territorial and hate change in their environment. The give a strong front but are decidedly human in their weakness, and unwillingness to share it with the beings around them... While they will show displeasure they will not give too many signs that they are hurting. I like to think of cats as tiny people that can get away with pooping in your shoes. So I would sit down with the child and explain now is not the time to get a new cat and that you intend to think it over with in the near future as soon as life resettles. I would assume that the child is reasonable enough that if you speak with them like they are an adult that you will have better results.

As for making the cat feel more comfortable be sure that you continue to seek him out and make him aware that you still care about him. Expose him to the rest of the new family as much as possible but never dig him out of his safe space, also make sure he has a safe space where he is likely to be undisturbed by anyone. As long as the boyfriend and children respect his space he will come to terms in time. If it gets too much worse seek out professional help, as an actual vet will have "better" advice (all of mine comes from experience not training) Just remember that as long as you keep calm your pets will pick up on the energy and will in time reflect it.

The best way to get a cat to love you is to ignore it, keep it fed and watered and the litter box clean, but treat the cat as they treat you and in time they will come around cats are finicky but worth the time. As I am sure you, Pinkie, already know.

As far as honey badger advice goes: Well if you are a true honey badger you will do as you please and deal with the consequences, let the kids do what they will as long as it makes you happy and play favorites so that everyone in the house knows the pecking order... Put the cats at the top, and the children at the bottom... Animal = Awesome Children = NOT Awesome.

But I truly hope that some of what I said helps to an extent or an other, be it useful advice or simply worth a chuckle.

"And if you rap like me you don't get paid, and if you roll like me you don't get laid." Flight of the Concords

The wisest of the Kings
King Badger

Book Club Announcement

HEY THERE BABIES! I finally got the books pick for the year. I have decided to split the amount in half since everything has been craziness and I don't foresee that changing anytime soon.

So I am going to just do one boo here one month, then one on the podcast the next. So for the first book we will be reading Ready Player One, and discussing it here. I will have the list at the bottom of this post, odd numbers are blog, evens are podcast. This may change in the months to come and it may not. The list will not change order however so as it is added to I will be sure to keep you all updated and make sure everyone is in the loop.

So remember that to win the contest one simply has to write a "Book Report," that I think is the best. It will not be graded on spelling, grammar, appropriate sentence structure or any of the bull shit... It will be graded on how well you illustrate that you read, or at least tried to read, the book and how much I like your report. There is no minimum length, if you can sum up the proof that you read it into one sentence feel welcome to submit that. Whoever wins will have their report read over the pod cast and receive a free copy of the book that is two after the one they read. So odds will win next odd, evens will win next even.

1. Ready Player One Ernest Cline
2. Hearts in Darkness Laura Kaye
3. A Wizard of Earthsea Ursula K. Le Guin
4. She Murdered Me With Science David Boop
5. The Boxcar Children Gertrude Chandler Warner
6. The Geek Feminist Revolution Kameron Hurley
7. Of Mice and Men John Steinbeck
8. International (Monster Hunter) Larry Correia
9. Shutter Island Dennis Lehane
10. Jeremy Thatcher Dragon Hatcher Bruce Coville
11. Watership Down Richard Adams
12. Phule's Company Robert Asprin

The book titles link to their amazon page feel welcome to pick them up from where ever you want I just linked for easy reference.

"'Cause everybody wants some love shooting from the stars above, and though my heart will break there's more that I could take I could never get enough" Weezer


The FINALLY, temorarily... Maybe, kinda... I guess it worked this one time Responsible Badger
King Badger

Folklore

I love folklore, in all fashions I can find it. I love mythology, I love fables... I think that anything that show where people came from is awesome, I don't mean creation lore or what not I mean watching the story telling process grow and evolve. Same goes for music, I love folk music or anything with "simple" or "basic" rhythm to it. Don't get me wrong simple or basic rhythms to not mean an unskilled rhythm section, in fat when done well...

But I am rambling, anyway I am just looking for suggestions, or a selection of folk stories that is compiled into one easy to use place. I would really like to get my hands on Native American lore, though any lore is good your suggestions will give me a happy. I don't know anything short of what has been glamorized about Germanic lore, hell I don't even know what to look for... Same goes for everything that isn't just english based.

"I've wasted time, I've wasted breath I think I've thought myself to death" Kongos

Damn I ramble all the time... Sorry, not sorry, I guess. But The King does love you
The most Interested of Badgers
King Badger

Complaints

I have forgotten how hard it is to build a book club list that meanders about with out repeating too heavily. I am still plugging away at the list just trying to get to twelve on each... I figure one year worth of plan is probably about enough for now and will buy me time to consult with people as to books they would like to see on the list. Though I may try to touch base with some artists at next year's MisCon in the hopes of getting some feedback from them, and perhaps some signed goodies to give away instead of just the books.

I am curious as to how much that would appeal to you all, however... Would you be more likely to participate if you win an autographed booked as opposed to just the standard? If yes are there any authors you would like us to try to get signed books from?

Do any of you have any suggestions for books you have always wanted to read, but needed motivation to read? Or books you think I would benefit from reading? Remember if you have already read a book on the list(s) that is a free entry so the more suggestions you all give the better your chances of not having to buy books to participate.

"There is unrest in the forest, there is trouble with the trees. For the maples want more sunlight and the oaks ignore their pleas" Rush

The Rambling King
King Badger

Book Club

I am still hammering out the list of books, but will have it up sometime in the next week or so... I have however decided the first book will be "Ready Player One" which I have read, though will be reading again. I don't have a deadline set for the submission yet, but the person that writes the book report I appreciate the most will get a free copy of the third book on the list.

To clarify the 1st book's report will win 3rd book, second book's report will win 4th, third will win 5th and so on. This way I will have time to get the book to whoever wins in time for them to read it and write the report. As it stand I intend to do one book a month, though that may change as dependent on my schedule, in that I am also host a book club via the podcast as well.

Also one is not limited to how many books they can win from us, well I intend to only do one for here and the podcast so only two a month, but on may win both if they are particularly adept at amusing me. I will post the list for the both book clubs on here so as not to constantly have to update people on the podcast about it.

"Oh gimme that fire" Barns Courtney

The Most Explanatory King
King Badger

Triumphant Return!

So, I have been gone for a while... Life, the universe, and everything have been getting in the way. But I remembered that this had been left dormant when I was setting up the NEXT EPISODE OF THE PODCAST!!! Thats right, we are getting the band back together... I mean the podcast back up and running.

If you aren't following it on Facebook or on ITunes then, this is a good time to do so, but this is being put here to let you all know that we have a new episode up. Feel welcome to listen to it here. We have a new cohost, she is adorable and I look forward to getting to know her more in the time to come.

On that note however, we are starting the book club, on the podcast back up, more information as I have it, and a book club on here as well. The books will be different so there will be opportunities to earn more than one book from the church and get your voice heard by all of the true followers.

"Listen to the river of your heart play like a drum listen to the night call singing songs from all around." Elephant Revival

Winter Time Blues

I feel that the title of this one is extremely misleading, but it still gets the point across. I love the winter, the snow makes me happy, and as stated in other posts I love smoking when I can see my own breath. But the winter has some other side effects, that would not be a problem... But...

My sleep schedule rapidly shifts all over the place, and if I were retired it would be great, I have trouble sleeping when it is dark and snowing all I want to do is go out and play in it, but I do currently have a job and not sleeping on a regular schedule messes up my performance. I also have trouble finding motivation to go outside if I am not going out to participate in the winter time fun that can be had.

Since I have energy regulation trouble, I like to put all of my energy into whatever I am doing but if it is before I have to work then once again I choose to do nothing. This leads to a totally solvable depression as it is difficult to ride the line of being awake, but inactive. I played a lot of video games growing up but would still have to get up and run around every thirty minutes to an hour. I have trouble understanding how anybody can stay in one position for long... This is why I never pursued my dream of becoming a trucker. I have trouble driving across town. No disrespect meant to those who can/do/want to do these things just know that I don't understand it.

I also hate having water in my shoes, I feel most can identify with this sentiment, and it is a pain in the ass to pick a path that will not lead to soggy loafers. If I am at home this is not a problem I only wear my shoes for playing in the snow but, going back to the work complaints, if I am forced to wear the same soggy sneakers for hours on end (especially if I did not actively choose to do this) is very uncomfortable.

What complaints do you all have about the winter? Or what is your favorite season, and what do you hate about it?

"These are not all of the many simple things you can find wrong with me. Once would you tell me please..." Jimmie's Chicken Shack

The winiest King
King Badger

I am starting to run low on questions, so as always feel welcome post them here.

"Is it unethical to keep cars and dogs as pets?"

This has been one I have been looking forward to answering since it showed up on the list. I assume that this was supposed to read "Cats and Dogs" but since I am a smart ass and do not believe that we keep cats as pets, they keep us as servants, I will answer the question as it is.

Short answer is no. Long answer is far more complicated. I feel that keeping pets, as long as they are treated well and do not have their freedom imposed upon, too much, then there is nothing wrong with it. As far as cars go, until they become too intelligent then keeping them as pets is weird but not unethical. I feel that being a pet is a rather charmed life, for the pets that are not abused. Always having a roof to sleep under, feed to eat, and companionship is something that we as animals seek but have to have jobs to have them. Dogs get all of this for just being a dog, though they can not wander where they want they are kept fed, happy, and healthy.

I do however have many issues with selective breeding. Again with cars this is not so much a problem, though a little unorthodox... Breeding cars in not the way to make a baby car, Jus' Sayin'. I feel that encouraging the intentional breeding of dogs to "keep the breed pure" is going to cause a mass extinction of many breeds in years to come. We have destroyed many breeds in this fashion. Poodles have to have a special diet, or their stomach will literally flip and twist itself off killing the dog if immediate medical attention is not attained soon enough. Many breeds of bull dog have to struggle to just breath, born with faces so deformed that oxygen does not pass easily through their head, mouth included... And many of the larger breeds of dog have so many issues I am surprised they live long enough to make puppies, between hip, spine, and other bone problems it is surprising that they can even stand. Their soft tissues is also not safe most of their internal organs fail before they are even ten years old.

They may be beautiful creatures, but I would not wish that on my worst enemy if they were as smart as people (I am not saying they are not, I am using this phrasing because I don't want to get into my philosophy on animal intelligence right now) then they would actually wish they had never been born, it is a painful struggle just to live when you can't eat, breathe, or move... So animals as pets, totally cool... Animals for show, suck a bag of dicks.

The Waking World

For those of you that have only walked the waking world, and think this may be a guide to it, then you are probably in the wrong place... Though feel welcome to read on.

I once postulated that if I were the type to use drugs for recreational purposes that I would use speed, or hallucinogens... This is because I like the world that one can only see when the waking a dream world begin to overlap. I have spent far more time than I care to count in this realm. I used to not sleep, a lot. I used to sleep about four hours every third day and with that I got to see things in a fashion that only those who have spent time being crazy know what I am talking about.

But that is enough of a history lesson for now. Back in my "crazy days" I had some very serious deja vu, when I would tell friends about this they would explain to me what science believed was happening, so I would jot down conversations word for word that two people whom I have never met were about to have and pass it to my friend... The look on their face was always priceless when it happened exactly as I had written it. I have seen my reflection blink at me. I have fallen out of my body. I have been walking in an old and familiar area and suddenly forgotten where I was at or where I was going, and had to let my legs take over because they seemed to still know the drill.

I have seen beings in the corner of my eye that had no business being in this realm, and I have seen many people's true form. More often than not they didn't even know the things I knew about them, but they always acted true to the nature of the being I saw them as. Was I just hallucinating? Many say yes. Was I just wildly sleep deprived? Absolutely. Do I believe what I saw was real? YES! Even after years of maintaining a mostly healthy sleeping schedule, even after reading up (even more) on the science of what I was experiencing, I still feel that everything I experienced was absolute and indisputable. Just because I was the only one that saw it doesn't mean I was wrong. I was once drinking, many years later, with a friend that I had shown my deja vu skills to and they admitted how much it had shaken them up. To me I have just continued to have too much proof that I was not just imagining it, even though I have lost the ability for the time being.

There is time enough to die when I am dead.
King Badger

"I would take no for an answer, just to know I heard you speak. And I'm wondering why I've never seen the signs they claim they see." Chris Rice

"What is the most important thing you do for your health?"

Honestly, I cut soda out of my diet... I do what I can to consume less sugar, salt, and unnatural additives. I have a fairly active lifestyle and am luckily built for being a bigger person, life is kind of like a gym for me. I don't really work out, though I want to find a good personal trainer that wants to work on my schedule and with my needs. I try to walk as much as possible, I like to keep my living space cold as it requires calories to keep the body a comfortable temperature. I drink a lot of water (mostly because water is one of my favorite beverages) the water I drink is as cold as I can get it, when I can get it to just above freezing I am very happy, it is more refreshing (to me) and also counts as negative calories, as your body can not absorb it when it is too cold. I am not a calorie counter, and have no intention of becoming, but I like to do whatever I can do keep my burning as many as I can. I smoke and drink , and know that these are bad for me... So a little here and there, and am counter productive at times as well.

Status Vs. Appearance

The other day I was enjoying a fresh Dopplebock from one of Missoula's great local breweries, Bayern.  As I sat there contemplating the amazing view of the valley from their enclosed patio, where one can drink and smoke, an older man came outside.

I try to not judge people, but I have my failings as does everyone else, and the image f him I drew up in my mind was someone who was smart enough not to approach someone who looks like me. For those of you who have never seen me in person I am stout, my shoulders have to be at least two and one half feet wide, my chest is almost as deep as it is broad (more than four feet around) I have a mohawk and tattoos. I am not a bad guy, well no worse than anyone else any way, but I don't really look like the kind of person you just talk to unless you never listened to your parents when they told you not to hang out with people like me.

This man looked like he had lead an average and sensible life and probably didn't have time to sit and shoot the shat with a local cult leader that looks like someone you don't want to cross in a dark alley... But he came and sat at my table, I was the only one out there, and lit a cigarette (I really like still being a smoker as the fad dies, you can always find camaraderie in those who still choose to poison their lungs)

We just spoke on whatever was on our minds, just as church happens with the Honey Badger, but mostly we talked of our own disappointment that business owners were no longer allowed to make the decision for themselves as to whether to let smokers participate in their establishments.

Sitting there I realized that I was incorrect in my judgement of him and I have no idea his judgement of me before we began talking (or after for that matter). He was interesting, didn't seem to mind that he was speaking with a thug, and as far as know had no idea he was talking with a cultist who seeks to destroy ignorance and spread love. To me the thing I took away from this was, your perceptions f your outside self have no bearing on anything and that one should always take that into consideration when meeting someone new as your perceptions of their external appearance are probably equally flawed.

"You and I both know that the house is haunted, and you and I both know that the ghost is me. You used to catch me in your bed-sheets just a-rattling your chains, well back then baby, it didn't seem so strange" Shakey Graves

My misunderstandings could fill at least one terabyte worth of space
The King Badger

"If you could travel anywhere to do missionary work where would you go and why? What would you do?"

Honestly Ireland, mostly so that I had an excuse to go to Ireland. I know my perceptions of the country are quite archaic, but I still think it would be good fun. I feel like I could do quite well with anyone that wanted to listen, and if the stereotypes are correct (as pertaining to how much they talk) then the word would spread quite rapidly. As per what I would do, the same thing I always do, find a bar and talk to people until I feel like they wont just leave when I tell them I am a religious leader.

Beyond that I would like to go to a third world country, get out of my comfort zone, and actually do some good. I feel that I constantly talk a big game about doing what we can to make the world a better place, but in the fashion of a true hypocrite I don't do anything. I haven't even sponsored an African child "for just pennies a day." In my defense I am still trying to get my own shit figured out, but I think it would be awesome to do something like that... Though I would like some friends to come with me, as we already can work together well and I trust those I actually call friend to not worry about who has taken charge of the situation as long as it is going well. Basically I know that the leader would be a fluid position being taken by the person who knows what needs done best and is able to call the shots, and with that we would not fight about who was in charge.

Elemental Participation

I am going to preface this with an acknowledgment... I just read back through Thoughts on the Breeze and  noticed that for some reason I replaced there with their and vice versa... I should let you all know that I just type these on the fly and don't edit them, so as to give you the fullest extent of my mind... And filtering oneself is a move for those who are unsure of where they stand.

Anyway with winter approaching I thought it best to draw attention to one of my vices, smoking. I love smoking for many reasons, but none shine so bright as winter. Winter is my favorite reason for smoking. I love standing outside, alone, apart from even the other smokers. I stand in the snow as the sky-fluff lands my face, tickling my nose and distracting my eyelashes. I love the bite of the cold, a slight breeze is always welcome. I like to watch the little ice-angels dance in the fog and half light of the moon, adding my own clouds to the mix.

The thing I like about smoking is how much one can participate in spirituality, especially in the winter, while smoking. The cold earth under foot, the slight breeze that is ever present, the water of my breath weaving in and out of the menagerie, and of course the fire that I draw into my lungs. It is great knowing one is the quintessence of the universe, the unit that ties it all together. The unnamed binder in the cosmos. There is nothing as peaceful as just participating in the rampant loneliness that is permeating yet strangely sentient.

Anyone that has never taken a moment to be alone long enough to find a friend out of the emptiness has missed out on many sights that were only meant for them, be aware and seek the lonesome.

"So you ask me how I'm on fire, all I do is turn around and smile, baby girl not everyone can fly." - Wild Child

The Lonely King of The Elements
 King Badger

"What is your stance on meat, factory farms, the food supply, and related topics?" - Unknown

I like meat. I like the smell, taste, texture, and nutrient value. It takes a lot of protein to run a body built like mine. I hate factory farms, I hate keeping my meat penned up, waiting for the time the hammer falls. Meat taste better if it has been able to wander, to live, to experience the sun. I might be a little tougher sometimes, it is definitely more expensive due to other aspects of upkeep it requires, but I think that extra money is worth the price.

As far as the food supply goes I feel it is well larger than necessary to feed the entire world and with that if more people were to put forth actual effort to help the third world we, as a species, could become a far greater threat to the rest of the universe than just ourselves. I think we need to spread the food we have now, and then work as one unit to make this planet a place worth living. Petty squabbles over nonrenewable resources, status, "worth," is pointless. Global communism, if it could work, would be the way to ensure the Human Race becomes a force to be reckoned with. We are far to strong and intelligent to die here playing in our own filth arguing about who has the shiniest rock in the shit pile.

Steam Time Babies!

So I want to start this with an apology for my sporadic posting, but I do that a lot, and it has recently been brought to my attention that I apologize a lot... So I'm not going to do that, though this time I acknowledge for the sake of stating I am aware, what I am going to do is offer an explanation though in the future I plan on trying to be better about keeping up the schedule I have decided I need to stop saying sorry and start  working on myself but be willing to hold myself to a lower standard or perfection and stop letting my every tiny failure weigh on me like a donkey full of cement.

I got a steam box a few months ago and it has been monopolizing my attention... I have a steam account that is worth a pretty penny, and have not had the ability play any games for quite some time, so I have been catching up on what I have and still buying more (because I am the patron saint of responsible decisions) which leads to a fair amount of game time to work through. Anyway any of you with steam accounts should totally find me The King Badger and add me. I would love to game with anyone that wants to. I mostly avoid FPS War Games and Rhythm Games, though I do love me some Saints Row, but I will play anything I own with any one out that wants to game.

Side Note: Viscera Clean Up Detail may be one of the greatest things I have ever found.

What types of games to you all play? Digital, Analogue, Fact, Fiction, SciFi, Fantasy, Table Top, Board, whatever tell me about it. I love all of the comments I get (which are not many) and I try to respond to all of them as well as I can.

"I guess I grew up on an old dirt road pedal to the metal always did what I was told." The Devil Makes Three

Warriors, Come out and play
King Badger

Question Question Who Has a Question?

In an effort to try to be more reliable in my posting I am proposing a similar concept to the Questionarium of the PodCast (Which will be back up in time, but life... You know?) so please ask me anything, literally anything, and I will do my best to answer it. It you are looking for answers that are not of a personal or speculative nature then I will research the topic and form a response. If you are looking for advice I will do everything in my power to offer actual advice, and not nonsense, that I feel will help... I like answering questions of any sort, personal is good, teaching is great, nonsense is golden, so ask away.

With that I will let you all ponder what you want to hear me ramble about... Also I should note these answers will generally be given after my usual post so you can expect the same level of inane drivel to pop up before getting to the real meat of the situation.

"Show me the way brother, give me a sign sister. I'm not the only one whose waiting to be born." The Fratellis

Ask me stuff!
The King Badger

Thoughts on the breeze

When you walk with the lost you find that they still know there way, just not the destination. One can watch for hours as they pick their path through the winding rocks of life, it becomes more and more interesting.

Knowing where we are going, or how to get their on the long term is not something that we are inherently capable of. This is one of the lessons the Honey Badger seeks to teach us, if we know the short term goals and keep moving forward we will surly come to an end that pleases us. Remember no one get out of life alive, but being sure to have a life worth remembering is the best we can wish for.

Smoke a little, drink a bit... Make poor choices and good friends, start a cult, a club, a business... Fall out of trees, dive into rivers, drive, fly, go crazy... Eat food that is bad for you, drink teas that are good for you, sleep too much, or too little... Let the moon dazzle you, the wind baffle you, waters cool you, fire warm you, earth cradle you, the stars lead you... Follow your own bad advice and live life for a minute. Remember those that know more about life than you have just made many bad choices and if you seek to be a sage then you must set about the path of mistakes.

In the end no one can tell you how to live your life, and anyone that tries should not be listened to, enjoy your friday.

"And then Cathy showed up and we hung out trading swigs from a bottle, all bitter and clean Locking eyes, holding hands Twin high maintenance machines" The Mountain Goats

My wisdom is infinite but even I don't listen to it
King Badger

Music

I have always wanted to be musically inclined, but sadly I have never been. I can recreate music, but I don't get it well enough to make my own... Even in the rare instances where I have gotten an instrument well enough to feel comfortable just kind of playing around jazz-styles with it I still can not create.

This used to bother me for a long time, since "Its music, its a universal language," and I may fancy myself a story teller but that is just how she goes, "Thats the way of the road Bubs."

To clarify, as a creative type I can create worlds, and people... Give me 15 minutes and some inspiration and I can have a world fleshed out well enough that many would assume I have been working on it for years just waiting for an opportunity to show it off. I have met many people that make stories but their characters always seem flat their description slightly modified versions of someone else's words, they just didn't have the ability to create in the necessary fashion... This is not a problem, if they never get caught or know to go to someone who can help them with their short comings, but they just can not on their own.

An other example is: I have known many great cooks, but all they can do is follow a recipe they have no imagination when it comes to modification, this does not mean they are bad, just that everything they make tastes exactly the way it should, which is great, but not imaginative.

So I always wished I could make music, not play music or read music... But make it, I used to be able to play and read music I am very out of practice, but making it is what I lust after. I have never been great at lyrics, though I used t write poetry all the time back when I was misunderstood... And I can not, for the life of me, understand how people put notes together to form a feeling in the air that carries the intent across.

What about you all, do you wish you had a skill/talent that just seems not to be in the cards? Am I alone in this? (That was a dumb question) Do you feel like sharing?

"Dog will hunt I'm the front end loader travoltin' over so try my slam on for size drive stick with that kung-fu grip let the banana split and watch it go right to your thighs" - The Bloodhound Gang

Your Current and Forever King
The King Badger

Gender

So, as a white, American, male, I might have no business opening my mouth here but I have something to say and want to share it with anyone who wants to hear it.

As I am ageless, and was not born, it might make no sense for me to say the following but it is the best way to preface what I am going to ramble about: Growing up my mother used to say to my sisters that if they wanted to find a man they needed to act more like girls... This phrase has always pissed me off, for many reasons...

Reason one, I have been attracted to tomboys for a long time, and the few time that I meet a girl that is a tomboy in here adulthood she is attracted to other women. I have no problems with that, except that I am not in the running. I am not saying that phrases like that lead to people being attracted to persons of the same gender, but I am also not saying that they don't.

I once spent a summer pissing off two of my homosexual friends by insisting that homosexuality is a fetish. When I brought this up to another heterosexual friend he point out that it totally is... Though not just homosexuality, heterosexuality, bisexuality.... any type of sexuality really. I have a fetish for women, which is more acceptable, publicly (I assume, because this fetish leads to more people) it is not any more, or less, relevant.

The problem is, my fetish for women pertains more to women who identify as men, and are still attracted to men... Mostly because I am a man. I feel that anyone who has anything to say about who and what your are attracted to has no right to comment, though if your wants/wishes involve hurting unwilling participants (Or minors) then you should not act on those...

I don't mean to judge but hurting people that don't want to be hurt, and molesting (physically/mentally) beings who are not old enough to handle a situation, then I do feel that you are doing the human race a disservice. I can not judge, and try though I might to not I still judge in those situations.

"I wake up every evening with a big smile on my face, and it never feels out of place. And you're still probably working at a nine to five pace, I wonder how bad that tastes." The All-American Rejects.

Be who you are going to be, be attracted to who you are attracted, know that you are human and we are all flawed.
King Badger

Spirits of The Night

I danced, this morning, with the spirits of the night. They have accepted me as one of them, and they are a big part f who I am, yet I am not one of their society. They share with me their secrets and teach me their  ways... Though sadly I do not understand their language.

I raced, with them, to sleep. I do not mean sleep as in the opposite of wakefulness, I mean death.Not mine, theirs. There are stories in the culture of one who have managed to find the dark and stay their through the bombardment of the day star, and the wonders that exist in the light, but they do not know of them well.

As I said I can not speak their language, which is mostly movement based, my meat body is far too goofy and imprecise to converse with them. Some of them understand what I say, but they are silent and can not translate for me... Watching my stories unfold, in interpretive dance, is beautiful... But I don't understand it.

When next you find yourself alone in the dark seek out these spirits, they are friendly and harmless, they will share with you their culture and many gifts if you cant take them, but they are god times.

"Have you ever walked through a room, but it was more like the room passed around you? Like there was a leash around your neck that pulled you through?" The Offspring

Remember babies, the badger loves you,
King Badger

Greetings From/To the future

So I assume all of you regular readers are aware that this was not posted on time, but that it appears as if it were, hence the title... I am writing to those of you in the past, but you are all reading it after it has been written and there for I am only capable of sending it to those of you in the future...

I must apologize for my lax posting, I know I have been doing that a lot lately but as per the last post... Life, am I right?

My uncle was in town this week, and I haven't seen him in nigh on nine years, so that was good times. It was cool to be able to share with him the kids book we wrote and have the courage to tell him how much I looked up to him growing up.

He is my father's younger brother, and only about 12 years older than I, so when he was around he always seemed like an older brother to me, which I didn't have... In fact I have never had a biological brother. It was also interesting to reassess how many of my personality quirks are genetic.

That stuff is really interesting to me. I remember when The Prince Badger was born and I realized how much of the family is in our coding, we can change it, we can fight against it, but for the most part, with my family anyway, all of the negatives are more fun to live with than without, and trying to change them would not make anyone happier in the long run.

Your Biological Badger
The King Badger